


Irony

by YumeArashi



Category: Original Work
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Cutting, Gen, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:32:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Introspective piece on self-injury</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irony

* * *

 

 

There was a certain irony in the care with which he sterilized the blade before drawing it across his skin. But then, the point was to hurt, to punish. Blood poisoning wasn’t on the agenda.

Pain for pain. It was justice, in a wrong sort of way. He hurt someone else, he hurts himself. Fair’s fair, and all’s fair in love and war. Which was this?

Most people put self-mutilation in the same category as suicide. But really, they aren’t the same at all. Suicide is about escape, about not being able to bear another day. This is about wanting to feel pain, to draw out the pain inside. About quieting the guilt and self-hatred, by acting on it.

In a way, this is more self-destructive than suicide can ever be.

No one ever noticed the angry red lines adorning the side of his wrist. No one saw the scars. His coworkers just saw an intelligent, reliable, even ambitious young man. Even his friends had no idea how deeply disturbed he really was. If any of them had been aware that he’d gotten in the habit of taking a razor blade to his skin, he’d probably be in a psych ward. An attention getting device? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t think he wanted the kind of attention that the discovery of his habit would be likely to draw.

Three small cuts later, his anger with himself was assuaged. Carefully -- he was always careful -- he cleaned the blade again and applied pressure to his wrist until the bleeding had stopped. He noted, with satisfaction, that it took a good five minutes. This had been a good round. Once he was sure he wouldn’t bleed all over the sheets, he put the razor and rubbing alcohol away and finished getting ready for bed.

Justice was done, and he could sleep sound.


End file.
